Neighbours

 On the face of it neighbours don’t have much to do with getting older. But I have found that as you age good neighbours are a comfort and a boon. I’ve been incredibly lucky with my neighbours over the years. In fact, they’ve nearly always become friends as well as being neighbours.  And in conversation lately, with various people I’ve found that good neighbours are not necessarily a given. 

Currently my neighbours either side of me and the one backing on to me are all more than just neighbours. I say currently because we live in a constantly changing world and nothing is a given.

On one side of me is Dot. She  was married to Bob. Bob had been a friend of mine for the last forty years and I knew him before I bought this house. It was he and his first wife who tipped me off about the property being for sale at a time when I was looking. I always turned him to him for advice and help with the house and DIY difficulties and he helped me out numerous times. He died in 2021 and I miss him so much. But I’m good friends with Dot and we get together over a cuppa from time to time. She always asks me to look after the cats, the fish, and water the plants when she goes away, I have a key to her house, and she has a key to mine. After Bob died, she found she couldn’t hack living alone so her daughter and son in law gave up their flat and came to live with her which I found to be an extremely selfless act on their part. . Debby and Terry are great fun but they’re always willing to help if I need it. For example, recently in these fierce winds that we’ve been having one of my fence panels blew down. I couldn’t lift it, so Debby and Terry came round and lifted it for me, and Debby’s brother came with a new fence panel the next day because she’d phoned him. So kind. 

On the other side are Ryan and Amy, a couple in their forties. DINK? That is the 21^st century acronym, I believe, double income, no kids! At first, I don’t think they knew how to be neighbours, they kept very much to themselves after the initial introductions. I made them a card - welcome to the neighbourhood - and put it through the door on the day of their moving in. And they knocked to say thank you. I didn’t see them for ages after that. Then one day, Bob helped him with a problem they were having, and that seem to be a catalyst for them, realising that we were quite a close community. So, over the nears they’ve become much valued residents in the neighbourhood. They invited me in on Christmas morning for croissants and champagne. Amy works in insurance, but she has a passion for pottery. She has a studio at the end of the garden, visually an eyesore, but inside she has a potter’s wheel and a kiln. She very generously let me have a turn on the wheel and I ‘threw’ a couple of pots. I was thrilled. Just before Christmas she invited me back to do some hand building in clay. It was so kind of her, and I really enjoyed myself.

 

From Flickr photo by Benjamin Balázs

At the back are Tracey and Kevin, a couple in their fifties, both their sons are grown and have fled the nest. When the boys were growing up there were a few issues. Noise! They are a loud family. It’s just the way they are. The boys were sport mad and the footballs and rugby balls came flying over on a daily basis. Sometimes I would come home to five or six in the garden. And I have to say my plants suffered. Another times Tracey’s Mum bought the boys a paint gun each and although they were under strict instructions to only fire in the garden the temptation proved too great and my property became a target. It was the height of summer with doors and windows open – my carpet still has the stain!! Tracey was mortified and bought me a hydrangea to apologise! And their parties are legendary in the neighbourhood. The noise is almost unbearable. They set up a karaoke stage right by my fence one year and it sounded as if they were singing in my house. It was dreadful because we could do nothing, couldn’t even hear our TVs - they got a lot of flak for that from some of the other neighbours and it’s never been quite as bad since. As they’ve all grown older it’s all calmed down. The boys, men now, are a delight, so polite and personable. Tracey is kindness personified. She would do anything for anyone.  She tells me to get in touch if ever I need anything. She bakes quite frequently and always delivers a slice of whatever she’s made – this weekend it was tiramisu cake, and it was heaven – to me and the elderly lady next door but one. Each year in the summer she hosts a barbecue for all the close neighbours. When I needed to attend the funeral of a relative in Surrey and I wasn’t sure how I would be getting there she offered to drive me! 

Now I’m old its harder for me to reciprocate as much as I’d like. I let Ryan and Amy use my driveway for their friends and relatives as parking is tight in the ‘hood. Tracey lost her mum recently and I believe I was able to offer the right level of support that she needed. But I feel I take more than I give which is hard for me as I am naturally a giver. It is very comforting when you live alone to know there Is someone close by to turn to if needed. I know I’m very lucky.  There are people who don’t even know the names of their neighbours.